that whole pasty midget thing...

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly... I love you. You know this. Sometimes your clothes are... all right, I guess. But here's the thing – when you get it wrong, you get it SO wrong - that it's scary! Seriously though – you need to fire Stevie Wonder or whomever the fuck is dressing you these days, and get yourself a stylist with both working vision, and a clue! Believe me when I say that this sad ASSlee Simpson getup is doing you no favors. You look like a hot mess… a sweaty, pauncy, ugly hot mess!

In other Kelly Clarkson news, Page Six reported yesterday that Vitamin Water has inked a deal to promote her own flavor – à la Loose Change (aka 50 Cent). However, the deal is contingent upon Kelly loosing some weight. According to Page Six -

KELLY Clarkson has agreed to promote her own flavor of Vitamin Water. The only catch is the company won't announce the deal until the "American Idol" winner loses some more weight. Last year, 50 Cent endorsed his own flavor of the trendy sports drink, which is said to have 50 percent of the daily vitamin requirements. The muscular rapper actually looks like he's in robust health. Clarkson looks like she could lose a few pounds. Since the brand is all about fitness and health, she's been put on a strict diet and the deal is secret until she slims down.

Yeah, she could definitely afford to loose a few. She's not fat, but if I'm being completely honest - sometimes that whole pasty midget thing can be a tad deceiving!