saved by the bell...

So yeah – I totally watched Saved By The Bell’s E! True Hollywood Story earlier this afternoon, and let me tell you – I don’t consider it to be an hour lost. I consider it to be an hour gained! Of course I was a devoted fan of this hot mess of a show when I was a kid – I was all about Zack Morris! But here’s the thing – how was A.C. Slater’s mullet acceptable? Aside from his turn as Greg Louganis in that horrible made-for-tv movie, I never understood his appeal.

Now I couldn't possibly do a Saved by the Bell posting without actually sharing some of my favorite classic clips, could I? So here - don't say that I never gave you something. The first clip goes without saying. I mean, it’s painfully obvious –

Jessie – Great earrings, Lisa! Ask me anything about Geometry! I’m ready! I’m ready!

Kelly – Jessie, are you alright?

Jessie – Great! Wonderful! Terrific! Check this out! The square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sums of the square of the other two sides – BABY! Yeah!

Poor Jessie Spano! When I was in 7th or 8th grade, one of my friends gave me and another friend some Vivarin (caffeine pills). I don’t know if I even took one before my mom found the package and interrogated me – as if I, her straight edge, straight-A student, was abusing pills. Also – as if caffeine pills are a gateway drug – I mean, come on! And here’s the thing – for what could I have possibly needed Vivarin – Algebra? Looking back on it, the whole thing is just completely laughable!

Put your mind to it – Go for it – Get down and break a sweat – Rock and roll, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

God - that dance routine clip is just too much. It kind of makes me want to break out my Sweatin’ to the Oldies video! There are two parts of that clip that I particularly enjoy – the first of which is about ten seconds in. Yeah, when it gets all slo-mo, and Lisa Turtle does that retarded cartwheel. My other fave is the ending – when the girls leap into the air and do that whole Toyota leap. You know the one – “I love what you do for me – Toyota!” – a classic television moment!

Oh, God – could the Zack Morris / Kelly Kapowski breakup have been any more melodramatic? Do you remember Patrick Muldoon’s character – that Jeff guy for whom Kelly dumped Zack? I think the whole time I just wanted the two guys to hook up. I mean, fuck Kelly Kapowski – and her pom poms!

1993 was a big year for high school graduations. Don’t forget that that was the same year that Brandon, Brenda and the rest of the 90210 gang graduated from West Beverly. As you can tell from this clip, there really was no Valedictory address on Saved By The Bell - but I vividly remember Andrea Zuckerman’s on 90210. My cousin, Allison also graduated from high school in 93. Her best friend, Jill was Valedictorian of their class and as an inside joke, used the EXACT same address that Andrea Zuckerman had delivered on television about two weeks earlier.

So here’s the thing – if you think about it, there are a few pretty random similarities between 90210 and SBTB. First off is the obvious cross-pollination between the shows – how, after SBTB, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen went on to star on 90210 for a few years. Also, do you remember when Tori Spelling played Screech’s girlfriend Violet Bickerstaff in some of the earlier SBTB episodes?

Then there was Andrea Zuckerman – who was supposed to attend Yale, as was Zack Morris (strangely enough) – yet both ended up forsaking the Ivy League in favor of ‘California University’? Actually, if you recall, the 90210 gang all went on to attend this fictitious ‘California University’ – which, coincidentally is the same school that played host to Saved By The Bell: The College Years.

In closing I ask you to examine the idea of choosing ‘California University’ over the Ivy League. I mean, as you may recall, that decision did no favors for either Andrea Zuckerman or Zack Morris. Early in her college career, Andrea got knocked up – and Zack, well, his show was cancelled!