the crystal castle

Oh My God – this has got to be one of the most amazing video clips that I’ve seen in a long time – especially since I am really feeling this kid! I mean, I totally remember blowing the fuck out when I opened my Christmas presents. Don’t you? Also, how cute is the little sister - mimicking her big brother?!? The whole thing is just too, too much!

When I was little, believe it or not, I was a really sweet kid. I always remembered to say please and thank you; and I always acted like every present was exactly what I wanted. Okay, maybe not to the extent of the Nintendo 64 kid, but in my own special way…

…except for that Christmas when I specifically asked Santa for She-Ra’s Crystal Castle, and instead got He-Man’s Castle Grayskull. Now if that’s not gay-bashing, I don’t know what is! My poor parents were in denial even then.

Gleaming in the morning light
Home to She-Ra shining bright
Crystal Castle

Magic things shine everywhere
Cause it has a secret power

Lifted high on her throne
She-Ra saves the world alone

The fate of the world's safe
in Crystal Castle

Princess of Power!

Come to think of it, that She-Ra character was totally He-Man's hot transexual brother... which would explain why, at least in my house, the two of them had sex (on more than one occasion)! But then again, He-Man also totally had sex with Barbie, and Skipper… and sometimes Ken. Oh, and then of course there was that time when She-Ra went all the way with Teela... and I believe that Jem also spent the night from time to time. Jesus, no wonder I was so confused as a little kid. At least it's finally starting to make sense. God dammit, I still want that Crystal Castle!