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Thursday, May 25, 2006

a'quiness, ah ka fortatuna donna

All of this Tom Cruise talk has gotten me thinking about another celebrity überblow, one who hasn’t gotten very much press as of late – Anne Heche.

I don’t know that I could name even one movie in which she has appeared – but I vividly (and fondly) recall her interview with Bawbwa Wawas on 20/20 a few years ago – as it was an absolute train wreck of epic proportions. At the time she was promoting her new book (aptly titled Call Me Crazy), which addressed her struggles with abuse as a child, and… no joke, her altar ego Celestia who conversed freely with ‘Quiness’ (aka God) in a made up space language.

At one point during the interview, Bawbwa asks her if she still remembers this other language – to which Heche responds “of course” and then launches into her incoherent space babblings - the shit is bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s.

What she actually said was - A'Quiness, ah ka fortatuna donna, which in her psycho-babble translates to It is a good fortune, Isadan, to be here.” Watch an edited clip here - but more importantly, Listen to this! Are you dying yet?

At another point during the interview, Heche said – and I quote -

“I had another personality. I had a fantasy world. I called my other personality Celestia. I called the other world that I created for myself the Fourth Dimension. I believed I was from another planet. I think I was insane.”

Insane? No shit?

In August of 2000, one day after she and Ellen broke up, a dazed and confused (and on ecstasy) Heche got into her car and drove five hours from Los Angeles to Fresno. This trip was to be the culmination of a journey – Celestia was going to Fresno to get on the spaceship which would take her to the ‘Fourth Dimension’ to live with Quiness.

To make a long story short, she ended up in someone’s back yard – the police were called, and crazy cakes was strapped to a gurney and carted away to the psych ward. Priceless – absolutely fucking priceless.


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