try selling crazy somewhere else

What were the highlights of the American Idol finale, you ask? No, not Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks – but Toni Braxton, Meatloaf and Gayken.

I really don’t have much to say about that ‘In The Ghetto’ song itself, but could I please have some of whatever Toni Braxton was on? Valium? Percocet? Vicodin? Horse Tranquilizers? I couldn’t make out a single word that she said – she just kind of slobbered on the microphone a whole lot, mumbled and swayed back and forth. For a minute, I thought that Paula had stumbled on stage. Poor Crazy – he looked a little frightened.

As for Meatloaf - Hein. I honestly thought that he was having a stroke at the beginning of his duet with Katharine. He was seriously out of tune the entire time. He just seemed very child molester scary. Poor Katharine just can't catch a break.

The absolute highlight of the entire night had to have been the Gayken moment – with his heinous little mini-gay. Did you notice how mini-gay got all into the song - 'Don't Let Clay Aiken Go Down On Me' - an Elton John song fittingly enough. Girl blew it out! Some of what I had read prior to tonight mentioned that the press at the finale were forbidden to question Gayken about his recent scandal or his sexuality. But for reals – that was totally his official coming out party, and I loved every second of it. Seriously a transcedent moment.

And Taylor - try selling crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here.