antm 7 - episode 7

As always, I'm way behind in my America's Next Top Model postings - maybe because I'm just not as into Cycle 7. My girl, Melrose continues to win everything and annoy the shit out of everyone on the way. Here are the photos from a few weeks ago, in order of my preference.

CariDee

Melrose

Michelle

Jaeda

Amanda

Anchal

Eugena

Fat Anchal (and her blue contacts) finally met her end. Meanwhile, can someone please tell me what the hell this photo of Tyra has to do with the challenge. I mean, I know that that white body suit wouldn't be too forgiving, but come on!

danny devito

This is why I love live television, The View and now Danny DeVito...

why would anyone leave?

When I go home for the holidays, people always want to know if I'm "still in New York". I always find this to me such a stupid question. I just want to ask - "Have you been to New York?" I mean, why would anyone leave? Now I don't want this to turn into some cheesy Carrie Bradshaw moment - but I tell you New York, I love you in ways that are both surprising and innumerable.

you'll run the bill up!

Now that Thanksgiving has passed, it's officially the Christmas season - and I am love love loving this commercial.

jesus christ!

The stores are already decorated, and TBS started showing The Grinch last weekend - and even though I know that most people don't feel Christmassy until after Thanksgiving, I just got this joke in an email, and thought that it was funny.

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and smacked his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed. "Write that down, Mary," said Joseph "It's better than Derek."

hot ashy mess

Poor Piggy really can't catch a break. We've all been waiting to see what her next move would be, and apparently it involved stepping out in public looking like a hot mess. Correction - make that a hot ASHY mess.

Seriously though, can we just call her ashy tits? I mean, do you know what's never a good look? When your skin doesn't match itself. BLOWN!

hermés gustaf daniel giersch

I seriously hope that you're sitting down for this next one. If not, do yourself a huge favor, and sit your ass down post haste! Do we all remember Kelly Rutherford - you know, from Melrose Place? Well it turns out that she gave birth to her first son last month, and named him... are you ready for this? Hermés. Yes people, as in THAT Hermés. Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch. I'm seriously blushing for them - and big time. How utterly (and horrendously) embarrasing! I mean, how cute - a baby to match your bag...

To me, this is even more embarrassing than my parents neighbors who are (keep in mind) very white and also quite wealthy - and who named one of their daughters Shanelle. Pronounced Chanel. Please excuse me while I go cut myself.

crustached

Ok, Sienna - that whole crustache thing is just NOT a good look!

pas de bourrée, kick ball change - step clap!

I'm not sure from whence this clip came, but it's fucking hilarious. I officially lost it at "pas de bourrée, kick ball change - step clap!" Genius!

antm 7 - episode 6

Jesus, I keep forgetting to post the pictures from America's Next Top Model. Now, I know that this post is probably not going to do anyone any good - but I'm posting anyway. These are from a few weeks ago - when Fabio made a guest appearance, and the girls posed for romance novel covers. Here are the photos according to my preference - Melrose is, of course, the best... and Eugena was the worst. Poor little Brooke got the boot - but I guess that was to be expected.

Melrose

Jaeda

CariDee

Amanda

Anchal

Michelle

Brooke

Eugena

It wouldn't be a real episode of ANTM without a photo of Tyra (airbrushed to within an inch of its life) posing in the same manner.

paris is a cunt

Lindsay Lohan and her orange vagina just scored some major points with me - watch the video to find out how.

fierce

Police brutality is FIERCE!

c u next tuesday

Beside the fact that she's what I like to call 'white trash pretty', the reasons to hate Denise Richards just keep piling up...

According to CNN -

Global TV reported Richards was filming a scene for the movie "Blonde and Blonder" when she allegedly confronted a photographer trying to take her picture. Richards threw the laptop computers off a balcony, hitting two elderly women sitting in the lobby below.

What a C U Next Tuesday!

a classic television moment

Seeing as some of you actually do that whole 9 to 5 thing, there's a decent chance that you missed The View this morning. Since Rosie joined the bitches this past September, I can proudly say (thanks to my trusty Tivo)that I have not missed a single show - except for one that was quite rudely preceded by a press conference by that fucking asshole in the White House. Well needless to say, all of the good political news that we've received over the last 24 hours made for an interesting few moments this morning with the ladies at The View.



Classic. Absolutely a classic television moment!

so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, just die!

The President will be giving a press conference in a few minutes, and will announce that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld will be stepping down. Not sure as to whom will replace him, but I would just like to say... So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, just die!

it's a nice view

Check out this video of Matt Lauer hitting on Meredith Viera during a commercial break at The Today Show. I guess the rumors that he's a total pig in real life are likely true.



Oh, and in case you missed that he said "Keep bending over like that. It's a nice view."

go democrats!

Eat that, George Bush - you moronic mother fucker!

Fingers crossed that the Democrats take Virginia and Montana!

d-i-v-o-r-c-e

Britty Peers AND her cheetos have filed a petition to divorce PopoZao, and thank motherfucking God! I mean, if this is actually for real, then it is seriously the best news that I have heard in a long time. I have long said that the reason that the world is so fucked right now (aside from George W. Bush), is because Britty Peers and her cheetos got un-hot. How did Britty Peers and her cheetos get unhot, you ask? PopoZao!

According to TMZ -

Britney Spears has filed a petition for divorce from Kevin Federline. TMZ obtained the legal papers, filed today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.

As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Oct. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She's also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.

Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman's show. Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was "a string of events."

Spears has hired powerhouse celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has repped a number of celebs, including Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland. We're told Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe asked Wasser to rep both of them in their split, but Wasser declined for personal reasons.

Significantly, Britney lists the date of her marriage as October 6, 2004. There was an uproar around the time of the wedding because the highly publicized "secret" ceremony was held on Sept. 18th, leading many to question the validity of the ceremony. Now the divorce documents indicate that the lavish ceremony was not the official wedding.

Fingers crossed that this is actually true! Although this does mean that Britty Peers and her cheetos is now officially a baby mama with no baby daddy. Click here to read the petition for divorce documents. I smell a comeback!

vote!

Could someone please remind me why Election Day is NOT a national holiday? Oh yeah, because our country is fucking retarded...

Oh, and if you don't vote tomorrow - you too, are fucking retarded!

eat a mother fucking doughnut!

I wish that people would stop mouthing off about NicRichie, and address the whole Kate Bosworth thing. I mean, can we discuss this hideous bag of bones? Talk about a case of full blown anorexia nervosa AND bulimia. Seriously, you ridiculous cunt - eat a mother fucking doughnut!

another one bites the.... pillow

Mary Mary quite contrary. So not for nothin' - and not like it was (in any way) a startling revelation, but I totally called this shit months ago.

“The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships. So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love.”

giggling baby

This has to be one of the cutest things that I have ever seen. If you're not laughing out loud, or at least smiling ear to ear while you watch this - something is seriously wrong with you.

140 million dollars...

Fresh off of the news of the tragedy that foiled the sale of Steve Wynn's Picasso, it seems that another big whig - entertainment magnate, David Geffen has unloaded a pricey painting from his collection. The painting, Jackson Pollock's 'No. 5, 1948' has just been sold for a reported $140 million - which, if true would break the record set a few months back by the Klimt painting acquired by the Lauders.

According to The New York Times -

Reached by telephone, Mr. Geffen declined to comment on whether he sold the painting. Tobias Meyer of Sotheby’s is said to have brokered the deal.

The art-world experts identified the buyer as David Martinez, the Mexican financier who bought a two-floor apartment in the south building of the Time Warner Center for $54.7 million recently.

Mr. Martinez did not return calls seeking comment. Obsessively private, he has emerged as a megabuyer in modern and contemporary art in recent years, snapping up works by masters like de Kooning and Rothko both privately and at auction.

In October, Geffen sold two other 20th century painting - pulling in $143.5 million from the sale. He sold Jasper Johns 'False Start' to Kenneth Griffin (another one of those art buying finance schmucks) for $80 million.

To Steven Cohen, he sold Willem de Kooning's 'Police Gazette' for $63.5 million. Cohen was the hedge fund manager who, also last month, had been set to buy Picasso's 'Le Rêve' from Steve Wynn - for $139 million. As you may recall, Wynn put his elbow through that painting - thus negating the sale. Classic.

sex and the city movie

Remember all of that talk about a possible Sex and The City movie - and the rumor that Kim Cattrall was bitter about something and refused to participate? Well now it seems that HBO has recently reopened negotiations with the cast, and that a movie might actually be on the not too distant horizon. My guess is that Cattrall is probably bummed that her star has not really risen since the end of the show - and has now come back with her vajayjay between her legs.

According to The Advocate -

Although fans had long given up hope of ever seeing Sex and the City on the big screen since the series ended in 2004, the U.S. edition of OK! magazine reported that the project may actually become a reality.

An unnamed studio source revealed that "substantial negotiations have opened with each of the stars' teams this week," OK! reported. "Obviously, there is still a lot to be worked out contractually, but it would be amazing to get this project off the ground. There is no doubt that fans cannot wait to see them all reunited."

Rumors have persisted since the show's ending that Kim Cattrall was the lone holdout during early negotiations due to the lack of a complete script and perceived unfair compensation for the principal cast. Sources indicate that enough time has passed and that all four stars are willing to put aside their differences to make the film happen.

Interested in testing your own Sex and The City knowledge? Take the quiz - and find out where you stand. I scored 100% - yep, big fag - big, huge. I have to go shopping now.

sour fucking grapes

I'm sure by now that most of you have heard about the diatribe that Kanye West unleashed last night at the MTV Europe awards. I just saw the video, and it is seriously one of the grossest things that I've seen in a long time. I mean, GROSS - just really, really gross.



According to People Magazine -

Officially, Kanye West was named best hip-hop artist at Thursday night's MTV Europe Music Awards held in Copenhagen. But unofficially, he was also named biggest sore loser.

The six-time Grammy-winning rapper, 29, was apparently so disgruntled at not winning best video for "Touch The Sky" – the prize went to Parisian duo Justice vs. Simian for "We Are Your Friends" – that he crashed the stage as the award was being handed out. In a profanity-laced tirade, West said he should have won the prize, because his video "cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it," and, he added, "I was jumping across canyons."

"If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility," West said, according to the Associated Press. Later, he said, "I had the best video. 'Touch the Sky' was a great moment in TV." This wasn't West's first public outburst:

As this year's Grammys approached, he appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone wearing a crown of thorns, and later said he'd "really have a problem" if he didn't win album of the year for Late Registration. (He lost to U2's How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb.)

After losing the favorite breakthrough artist award to Gretchen Wilson at the 2004 American Music Awards, West told reporters, "I was robbed. ... I was the best new artist this year," and "I got 10 Grammy nominations, and won three – even if I should have won all 10."

During last year's NBC celebrity telethon for Hurricane Katrina victims, he said on the live broadcast, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." He also attacked the news media, saying: "If you see a black family, it says they're looting. See a white family, it says they're looking for food."

Ok, so I definitely agree with him on that last point, and actually thought that it was hilariously ballsy when he unleashed that gem. The best part being Mike Myers painfully awkward reaction.

christmas minge

Now that Halloween has passed, it is officially the Christmas season (at least in department stores, and at my house). We've already started ordering tickets for the holiday shows that we plan to see this year - The Grinch (on Broadway), The Nutcracker and The Radio City Christmas Spectacular. When ordering tickets for the latter, we stumbled upon something rather interesting.

Did you notice anything interesting? Maybe my favorite "down there" word - minge. I mean, is that some sort of reference to The Rockettes or something? Seriously, how funny is that!?!

halloween 2006

Here are the pictures from our Halloween. I've been attempting to post since yesterday, but blogger has been down. Our block held its annual Halloween festival - so from Central Park West to Broadway on West 69th Street was closed off with police cordons. The block association started this 35 years ago, to enable the neighborhood children a safe and fun way to trick-or-treat. The buildings and houses are decorated to the hilt - some are even set up as haunted houses.

Here are a few pictures of the decorating that I did in our apartment.

I ended up taking the glittered pumpkins outside to help decorate, and actually caught some random grandmother trying to steal one. Needless to say, I put the smack down. No joke.

Here is a photo of Spencer as Robin...

... and Barkley as Batman.

If you recall, we had initially planned on different costumes. Barkley was going to be dressed as Superman, and Spencer was going to go as jail bait. Once we saw the Batman and Robin costumes though, we knew that they were perfect.

I was in charge of the decoarting efforts for our building, and decided to do these spooky Japanese heads in the flower bed.

The pictures don't really do them justice - but trust me, they were really creepy. I spooked myself a couple of times, just having them around the apartment earlier this week.

This was our candy station, with the pumpkins that I carved. We had an obscene amount of candy, and we still managed to run out a little early.

Here are some pictures from the neighbors decorations.