Yeeeaaah Hot

Friday, September 15, 2006

she did it backwards and in high heels

I was definitely a little sad earlier this week when I found out that Ann Richards had lost her battle with esophageal cancer. For those of you who don't follow politics, or who would count Ann Richards as before their time - she was a politico who later served as the Governor of Texas during the early 90s (only to be defeated for re-election by George W. Bush in 94).

Nearly every article that I've read this week mentions the keynote address that she gave during the 1988 Democratic National Convention (remember Michael Dukakis and his rubbing alcohol drinking wife, Kitty?). When I was 8 years old (in 1988), I was much more interested in He-Man (or She-ra and Jem - as the case may have been) than in politics, but I certainly remember some of the memorable quotes from that address. Quotes such as -
Twelve years ago Barbara Jordan, another Texas woman, Barbara made the keynote address to this convention - and two women in a hundred and sixty years is about par for the course. But if you give us a chance, we can perform. After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.

But you wouldn’t accept that answer from your children. I wouldn’t. Don’t tell me “you don’t know” or “you forgot.” We're not going to have the America that we want until we elect leaders who are gonna tell the truth; not most days but every day; leaders who don’t forget what they don’t want to remember. And for eight straight years George Bush hasn’t displayed the slightest interest in anything we care about. And now that he's after a job that he can’t get appointed to, he's like Columbus discovering America. He’s found child care. He’s found education. Poor George - he can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

I listened to that address in its entirety earlier this week, and recommend that anyone with an extra five minutes, do the same. She was truly a political dynamo, and she will be missed!

Since Ann was so well known for her great wit, I thought that it was perhaps more fitting to close with more of her classic humor. Here's what Ms. Richards had to say about what one needs to do in order to be considered a "Good Republican" -

  • You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
  • You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
  • You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
  • You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
  • You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
  • You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
  • You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
  • You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
  • You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
  • You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
  • You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
  • You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
  • You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
  • You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
  • You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
  • You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
  • You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
  • You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


9/17/2006 8:00 PM  

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