seafag and his media empire

Why is it that Seafag is taking over the world? I mean, seriously - he has the number one radio show in LA every morning, On-Air with Ryan Seafag. On the weekends he hosts the nationally syndicated American Top 40 radio show. He has a 20 million dollar deal with E! - for which he is the managing editor and lead anchor of E! News, as well as their correspondent on the red carpet and at other high profile events. His deal with E! also allows the possibility for him to create new shows. Umm - he's a stand-in for Larry King sometimes on CNN. He is the heir apparent to Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve special each year. Oh, and there's that whole American Idol gig too.

I mean - what the fuck?!? I too, would like to take over the world - and as such, I am seriously considering the following -

1. moving to Los Angeles
2. acting like a smarmy douche
   
3. highlighting and then flat ironing my hair
4. going tanning
5. waxing my eyebrows (check!)
6. having sex with men (check!)
   

An article on Seafag and his empire is featured in the July issue of Esquire magazine, and here is, what is perhaps the best and the most fitting quote -

"There was an agent I worked with who said, 'You should really try and curb that innuendo,' " Seacrest says. "I thought, Why? Who cares? I know what I'm attracted to, and that's a female. It's somehow become a stripe in the Ryan Seacrest business; it somehow takes on a life of its own just because I'm not the stereotypical guy. A friend of mine has a house with a basketball court and a pool. The guys go over and play basketball; I lie by the pool and nap in the sun. That defines me. That's consistent with who I am. I don't pretend to play basketball because I wanna feel like one of the guys. I wanna lie in the sun and relax."

Umm yeah - lie in the sun and get pounded from behind, you big lady.