pickles are destroying my life!

“My name is Mariah, and I hate pickles. I hate everything about ‘em. Pickles are destroying my life. People make fun of me. I feel ashamed that I’m actually afraid of ‘em. When I think of pickles, I wanna throw up and run away. What I hate most about the pickle is the shape… the texture of it… the color… the….”

This shit is completely bananas, er pickles. I don’t even know what to say other than B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!! Meet 18 year old Mariah – whom her classmates have dubbed ‘The Pickle Girl’ because of her bizarre aversion to pickles.

Oh, and what about Shakeea and her ornithophobia... or Louise who loves ketchup, but for whom even the smell of mustard makes her tremble and cry?

“My name is Shakeea, and my phobia is - I’m scared of birds. Everything about them… their beaks… they walk nasty… they’re ugly… their feet. Everything about them disgusses (sic) me so much. They have germs. They pick over garbage. I just… I can’t… oh gosh. I don’t know why God created birds. I don’t know.”

“My name is Louise, and I am deathly afraid of mustard. I, I’ve even had nightmares about it. It’s in my subconscious all the time. I am deathly afraid of it - it’s always in the back of my mind. I’m really scared to face it cause I know I’m gonna have to face it on the show. I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it. It’s just… it makes my skin crawl. This is legitimate. It’s not – I don’t do this to be funny. It’s texture… it’s everything… it’s just disgusting and I hate it. I hate mustard!”

Jesus, Maury and Joseph… here I was thinking that all his shows were ever about were paternity tests and unruly teenage girls… AMAZING!