papa joe

Us Weekly is reporting that Chicken of the Sea and ASSlee are finally going to put the smack down on that pervy father of theirs - Papa Joe. Now we all know that there is definitely something that is just not quite right with that situation. My guess has always been that when those girls were growing up, that some really heinous and disgusting things went down in the Simpson house. There is, after all dual meaning in calling someone your daddy. I mean, duh - Papa Joe was totally their preacher teacher! And Mother Simpson - she was too busy helping out over at Britty Peers and her cheetos house.

According to Us Weekly -

Joe Simpson has often displayed boundary issues in the process of turning his daughters, Jessica, 26, and Ashlee, 21, into sexual commodities (“She’s got double Ds!” Joe told GQ of Jessica’s bust in 2004. “You can’t cover those suckers up!”) , but sources are saying that the girls have had enough. Why? This is, after all, the man who praises the sexiness of daughter Jessica’s body, and who, a source tells Us Weekly, told stories at an MTV meeting of helping her to fit for her first bra.

Says a source who works with them, “It creeps everyone out. And he thinks he knows what he’s doing, and that he’s doing the best for his kids.” Indeed, once a manager who had a firm grip on every move his daughters made, Joe, 48, has become a dad who can’t get his kids to give him the time of day due to his controlling and “obnoxious” behavior. Simpson insiders say the sisters are taking the reins from the man who helped make them all rich. “Back in the day, if Joe wanted Jess anywhere he’d just order her to come – but that clearly isn’t the case now,” says a source.

Now here's the thing - how totally psyched is Papa Joe now that ASSlee got all hot and slutty like Chicken of the Sea? You know that he totally engineered that transformation. Fuck, it's like the Father's Day gift that just keeps on giving...